Communication

H walks in the door from school and suddenly yells from the front entryway

“ I need a hooker!” 

“You need a what?”

“I need a hooker! We don’t have any hookers!”

“H, why are you asking for a hooker? What exactly are you trying to do?”

“Hang up my coat.”

That’s a hanger dude, A HANGER!”

 

Don’t assume because my son, a young man with special needs, can talk that he can communicate. He talks. A lot. But try to get an explanation when he is crabby, frustrated, feeling ill or appears injured and you will find that the communication train suddenly has come to a halt. He struggles to come up with an explanation. If I offer suggestions he will quickly agree with each one, "yes, that is it”.  He can sometimes describe a situation but ask him why and his nonstop talking will come to a halt. H is a communication puzzle that I work to solve every day.  

 

Sometimes just trying to get details can be a challenge. I remember greeting H after a visit to his Dad’s office.

“How was your visit, H?”

“Good, we had lunch with Andrew”

“Who is Andrew?”

“The short guy with hair”

“Is the rest of the office bald?”

“What do you mean”

I later find out Andrew is 6’4” and he does indeed have hair but so do many more. This may be why H will never work as a detective.

 

Another detail challenge is asking the right questions.

“Mom, why haven’t you come to Hire Learning yet this year?” (Hire Learning is a class where students with special needs make and sell crafts)

“I can stop by this week. When are you there?”

“5^th hour”

“I don’t know the high school schedule, when does 5^th hour start?”

“After 4^th hour”

 

And, sometimes the questioning just goes full circle without revealing the answer you seek.

H walked in and confessed “Mom, I was in a little trouble at school today.”

“What happened?”

“Well I had to work in the hall.”

“Why did you have to work in the hall?”

“I don’t know.”

“H, why did you have to work in the hall?”

“There was too much noise”

“Well according to this note from your para, YOU were the one making all of the disruptive noise.”

“Oh, that . . .well don’t worry, the para made me feel much better when I was upset so I’m fine now.”

“And, why were you upset?”

“Well, probably because I knew I was in trouble when I got home, but don’t worry, I’m fine now."